Twas the Night Before Christmas 2015

Tis the night before Christmas
And here in Dubai
We're taking it all in
My Della and I

We saw Burj Kalifa
Tallest building man made
We watch the grand fountains
And strolled the promenade

At the Burj Al Arab
Down on the sea shore
We jumped and we jumped
And got the pic I came for

This town seems to teem
With malls big and small
We visited a half dozen
But that's hardly them all

Paris has the Seine
And Vegas's nightlife is hopping
But as fars I can tell
Dubai's known for shopping

The places were packed
You couldn't swing a dead cat
Acre upon acre of
Things to look at

We peered at the sweets shop
Where they made candy by hand
We watch sharks in huge tanks
And we browsed luxury brands

At one mall we saw
The biggest afront made by man
A ski slope in the desert
Just 'cause they can

This town's an enigma
Nothing else like it on earth
I'm glad to be seeing it
Whatever that's worth

But tomorrow we move on,
Flying out Christmas Day
On our way to Luxor Egypt
We might pass Santa's sleigh

Tonight I'll hang up
My socks with great care
Not to be filled with gifts
But 'cause they need the air

I'll lay down my head
Upon the mattress on the floor*
And be thankful I have
All I could ever wish for

An adventuresome Christmas
Is best gift I could get
Some time with my sweetie
That I'll never forget

But now I must go
And close out this verse
Lest my words become boring
And rhymes become worse

So I'll just end it the way
That I always do
With all of my heart
I wish Merry Christmas to you

(If you're jonesing for more
Of my silly yule tradition
Go on and click through
To the previous editions
'07, '08, '09, '11, '12, '13, '14)

Thursday December 24 2015File under: holidays, poetry

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Roses Are Red Poetry Slam No. 9

It's that time again—to reluctantly and hastily dash off a few Roses are Red poems for that special someone. Well, that special someone for me is you, dear reader. So here are a few hastily dashed off poems to celebrate year number 9(!) of the Blog du Wren Roses Are Red poetry slam. Please leave your contributions in the comments below. Or, if you're not feeling the poetry bug, have a read back at the previous years ('14', '13, '12, '11, '10, '09, '08, '07)




It's late in the game
To beg your contribution
But the Roses are Red blog post
Is a BdW institution

Roses are red
With a hint of green
You've stolen my heart
And also my spleen

Twelve words about roses
Not a bouquet
My gift to you
OK?*



The day before Rose Day
Is a Friday quite ominous
Another scary thought?
My love for you is bottomess

Roses are pokey
Like your fresh trimmed moustache
And them kisses from you
Are so worth the rash

Roses embed
A love tasty and true
And our love runs sweet
Like milk chocolate fondue

Friday February 13 2015File under: poetry, holidays

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8th Roses Are Red Off

Hey, I've got an idea. Let's write Roses are Red poems right here on the blog. It'll be great. I'll write a few to get you started. Then you can contribute your own. Over the next week or so, you can check back to read the awesome ones other people write. How about we set the rules as every poem much contain either the word "roses" or "red" and must follow the standard Roses are Red rhyming/stress pattern.

Full disclosure: this is not a new idea. It's been done many times, some of which were right here on this blog! Check out posts from '13, '12, '11, '10, '09, '08, '07
Roses are red
And contain a bug or two
When we eavesdrop dear Angela*
We feel closer to you
Rosas son rojas
Mi chiquita bañana
Besa me esta noche
Don't wait for mañana
You shouldn't buy roses
If you really cared
Buy local instead
And our earth with be spared1
Roses are red
But such a frivolity
And I thought you believed
In gender equality
Here, take your roses
Now I've done my duty
Is that sufficient
For you to show me your booty?


Wednesday February 12 2014File under: poetry, holidays

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7th(!) Annual Roses Are Red Breakout

This year's entreaty for Roses are red poems is coming a little late. That means you better get your submission in pronto! And remember, the more entries the more fun! (Rules as always: gotta use either "Rose" or "red" in the poem and it must follow the standard Roses are red rhyming/stress scheme.) Happy composing!


oses are red
that much is true
but there isn't a flower
that can hold a candle to you


'll make you a rose
In your choice of hues
If you don't care
What chemicals I use



or 7 years now
I've rapped about roses
How many more years
Til this tradition decomposes






Wednesday February 13 2013File under: poetry, holidays

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Twas the Night Before Christmas 2012

Twas the night before Christmas
The most low-key in years
No van living, no cruising,
no circus, no gears

It's just me and my sweetie
with no big to do
We quietly watch Jeopardy!
While petting tussie-roo

There's comfort in the quiet
No stress and no hurry
Instead of ham or a turkey
We nibble veggie curry

Our holiday duties
with her kin then mine
Were nice but now finished
Which suits us just fine

Her folks' house was bustling
Full of wonderful smells
With my fam we gathered
In our sweaters with bells

But now is the time
For our traditions to grow
Whether they involve presents
Or a t.v. game show

But all that will happen
For it takes many a year
For now I'm content
with my brand of holiday cheer

So we shuffle off to bed
Just like any old night
Feeling blessed and lucky
And that everything's right

So with that I will end
This holiday rendition
And wish you Happy Christmas
As is our tradition.
Monday December 24 2012File under: holidays, poetry

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Roses are Red 2012

@};- this is a rose
and (=^;^=) this is a cat
<3 can mean love
if you're nerdy like that
Five years of roses
shared here by ya'll
Let's make it 6
So don't drop the ball
Rose is my aunt
My uncle's named Steve
Maybe they've got a poem
Stored up their sleeve
What if our blood
was green and not red?
For Valentine's day
Would we give salad instead?
Ses*, order red roses!
To please Esael Pot*
about palendromic potery
Easy it's not
Our county's funds
Are deep in the red
So let's all move north
To Canada instead
To get your mind ready
To write your awesome rhymes
Have a look back
At the previous times ('11, '10, '11, '09, '08, '07)
                               _   _
With underscores and slashes  (  v  )
rather than roses or a dove    \   /
We nerds use ASCII art          \ /
To express our love              V



You all know the drill. Leave a poem (or two) in the comments below. Rules are as always: follow the Roses are Red rhyme scheme/stress pattern and use either "red" or "rose" in each poem. Feel free to post as anonymously and as often as you like.
Sunday February 12 2012File under: poetry

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Twas the Night Before Christmas 2011

Disclaimer: I would say that this poem is inspired by true events rather than an actual true story. I've been spending lots of nights in a Toyota van* of late and it's been totally awesome. But the truth is, this actual night before Christmas, I'm in a bed. But the sentiment stands.

Twas the night before Christmas with just us in the van
Parked any old place just cause we can
Last night at the Cirque Lab before that the quarry
When living in a van you can write your own story
The world is your oyster with your bed close at hand
The space's a bit cramped but the view is quite grand.
Now back to the present this O Holy Night
We're parked on a street that's lit up so bright
The blue lights in bushes and white lights that twinkle
Unfortunate inflatables that make my nose wrinkle
So we draw the curtains and settled in to our nest
To make good on the proverbial "long winter's rest"
The rain hits the roof just loud enough to hear
So I close my eyes and imagine reindeer
Dasher and Dancer and Blitzen, the whole posse
With Santa yelling "onward" and being quite bossy
I don't think he'll find us but I'm not going to gripe
Plus he'd have a fat chance of fitting through the tail pipe
But I've got all I want as I scribble these words
I've got health, I've got freedom, I've got Angry Birds
My family's amazing, I've got many a friend
To count all my blessing would go on without end
So as I drift off to nodland, a smile's on my face
Of anywhere I could be, this is the place.
Matt Foley's* wrong in his motivational speech
Van living's awesome, all you need's within reach
So I reach out my arms and she snuggles in tight
I whisper Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night

Saturday December 24 2011File under: holidays, poetry

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Roses Are Red 2011


Roses do pale
Compared to your beauty
Your angelic face
And your smoking booty

Roses are red
I give them to you
As the smallest gesture
That my love is true

Roses are red
Tomatoes are redder
I like my pizza
Covered in cheddar

@};-s are :-)
And signify <3
Emoticons make me LOL
At least sort of

Giving her roses
Might get you humped
But not giving them
Could get you dumped

I gave her my heart
Along with a rose
Then how come I'm not
The one that she chose

It's that time of year again, time for the 5th annual Roses are Red showcase! For you longtime readers, you know the drill. For the first-timers, here are the guidelines:
     1) Poems must basically follow the standard Roses are red rhyme/stress scheme
     2) Your poem must include either "red"" or "roses"
     3) Anonymous posting is totally acceptable
     4) Submit as many poems as you like and be as creative as you like

For inspiration (or to have a good laugh), check out previous years' submissions: 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010.

(Oh, and I fixed the line break problem, so <br /> after lines is not necessary)
Sunday February 13 2011File under: poetry

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Roses Are Red 2010

It's been a whole year now
I've got Rose poem withdrawl
So write up some good ones
At which I can guffaw
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I just wrote a poem
And so should you!

I won't get no roses
But that ain't so bad
'Cause I've got the internet
Oh wait, that is so sad

Roses are pricey
What's a guy to do?
Try your hand at
Writing a poem or two


It's that time of year again: time for the annual Rose are Red poetry slam here on BdW. This is a chance to let your poetic juices flow! The rules are easy: the poem must follow the standard ABCB "Roses are red" rhyme/stress pattern and it must make reference to either "red" or "roses"*. Topics can be anything you want – it doesn't have to be Valentine's Day related. Feel free to submit under pseudonyms or anonymously, and as often as you like.

For inspiration (or at least a couple of good laughs), take a look at previous years' showings: 2007, 2008, and 2009.
Friday February 12 2010File under: poetry

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Twas the Night Before Christmas 2009

Twas the night before Christmas as we pedaled along
The wind and the rain were frightfully strong
The wind was no problem for it was blowing due east
It help us to cruise at 18 mph at least
The rain however was not quite as nice
Despite the warm weather the drops felt like ice
The trip to this point has been almost a breeze
We earn every mile but stop when we please
We take in the sights for to me it's all new
I walk on the beaches and take in the views
But now the sky grows darker and threatened still more
We see an oasis just down the shore
The casinos of Biloxi with their neon light
Might be our savior on this dreary night
We duck in the first one for a big bite to eat
Those epic buffets are a real treat
It's still raining so I try my luck
At the gaming tables, I win 15 bucks
So now stuffed to the gills with shrimp and ice cream
Our thoughts turn to sleeping for our sugar plum dreams
We could sleep in a field or a barn brought to ruin
But tonight is not last night so a hotel we'll be pursuing
In the lobby of the Hard Rock we work internet and phone
To find some cheap beds before we're soaked to the bone
Now as all my clothes hang o'er the sink just to dry
My thoughts turn from practical to friends far and nigh
For tonight is a night that goes beyond chimneys and toys
It's more about sharing life's little joys
So I offer this wish to my friends near and dear
Have a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Thursday December 24 2009File under: holidays, poetry

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